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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644244">unspoken love song</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetoptg/pseuds/odetoptg'>odetoptg</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>fromis_9 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst? IDK, F/F, Lowercase, kpop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:00:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644244</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/odetoptg/pseuds/odetoptg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>like the sun shines brightly over the earth, her heart did the same for chaeyoung.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Chaeyoung/Park Jiwon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>unspoken love song</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>like the sun shines brightly over the earth, her heart did the same. jiwon never thought she would be in a situation where having her best friend’s presence would make her awkward and uncomfortable. but sitting here, at the dinner table with people she hardly knew besides her best friend, changed that trajectory very quickly. she felt uncomfortable, she felt out of place, and all she wanted to do was go home. she couldn’t do that, though, because this was her best friend’s rehearsal dinner for her wedding and she couldn’t stand the fact that she was getting married. to understand jiwon’s dilemma, she needed to back up a little bit and give some backstory to what was going on. </p><p>jiwon had met her best friend chaeyoung when she was thirteen years old. they had been friends ever since and they had been inseparable. they did everything together and no matter what obstacles they faced, they always got through them together, and with chaeyoung that was a lot. you see, chaeyoung had a very troubled family life. her family was broken and she had been through so much. her mother was an alcoholic, her father was on drugs and abusive, and her only sibling, her older brother chahun, was always gone off with girls or somewhere that she couldn’t get a hold of him. being a thirteen year old in that type of situation was very scary, and chaeyoung never knew what to do because where would she go? well, that’s when she met jiwon. they met when they started high school, both a little earlier than most kids and they started to see each other every single day. chaeyoung spent most of her time at jiwon’s, which wasn’t suspicious to jiwon, but instead, jiwon’s parents. they didn’t want to upset her, but they asked chaeyoung about her home life, and she broke down into tears, feeling guilty. and without a second thought, they told her she could stay with them. and she did. she stayed with them for the next five years until she graduated and went off to college with jiwon. not once did her parents try and find out where she was. when jiwon and chaeyoung went off to college, they still spent as much time together as they could, not sharing a dorm, but they were always in each other’s. it was amazing having your best friend with you all the time, but that’s when chaeyoung met soomin. </p><p>chaeyoung was all about him. he was a very charming guy, he was always sweet to her. soomin made her feel like no one ever had, and she made sure to let jiwon know that. she felt like a princess whenever she was with him. chaeyoung just had this glow about her that jiwon had never actually seen before. she was truly and utterly happy with this man and jiwon prayed he wouldn’t hurt her. jiwon was happy that she was happy. but when chaeyoung started to go hang out with him almost every free day she had, and go out with him and stay with him in his apartment, jiwon was devastated. she knew that as she got older, this may happen. chaeyoung wasn’t going to stay single forever and they weren’t going to have this unbreakable bond forever, but it still hurt nonetheless. what hurt the most though, was the fact that jiwon was in love with her. </p><p>it wasn’t as surprising as jiwon thought when she had this revelation that she was in love with her best friend. she felt like she was in some teenage romance movie when she thought about it, but she knew that she was. with every moment she spent with chaeyoung, her feelings grew deeper and deeper. she was so fond of chaeyoung, she was inspired by her every day. she thought chaeyoung was the strongest, smartest, most beautiful woman she had ever seen and she thought about these things all of the time. her mind was always full of chaeyoung, and she never stopped caring for her, even when she didn’t need her too. she knew she was in deep and she knew she was in love. and that was why this hurt so badly. chaeyoung had never told jiwon her sexuality, which only made her assume that chaeyoung was straight and she’d never feel the same way about her. but jiwon knew that she was a lesbian. she knew that she liked women and that she had her eyes on one woman in particular for a long time now. all she wanted to do was tell chaeyoung and let her know just how much she loved her, and how much love she had for her, but their friendship might get ruined. she loved and cared about chaeyoung too much to lose her because of her feelings for her. they had already been through so much together, that jiwon couldn’t even imagine losing her or not having her in her life. but every day was growing harder for her to come to terms with how much she loved her. </p><p>so, here she was, sitting at the rehearsal dinner for her best friend’s wedding, zoning out, thinking about everything and not really listening. here she was, surrounded by soomin’s family and chaeyoung’s friends, thinking about how in love she was with her best friend. she couldn’t believe this, but she needed to move on. she knew that there was nothing she could do now. chaeyoung loved soomin. she was in love with him and they were getting married. jiwon tried to drown out everything that was happening around her, but chaeyoung brought her back into reality. <br/>“jiwon, is that okay with you?” she heard her best friend’s sweet voice surround her, like a warm sunset on a summer night. she looked up at her with a bit of a confused smile, one that chaeyoung knew all too well. chaeyoung laughed a bit and shook her head at jiwon. <br/>“I asked if you could be at my house to help me get ready around 9 tomorrow morning?” her sweet smile filled jiwon’s heart with happiness. she let a small smile escape her lips and she nodded slowly.  <br/>“oh yeah of course, sorry.” she was a tad bit embarrassed because soomin laughed at her and some of his friends did as well. jiwon didn’t mind the embarrassment too much, she cared more about the fact that tomorrow was the day her best friend would be married. this would be her last chance to tell her how she felt. this would be the last time that she could admit her feelings without too many consequences. but she couldn’t find it in her heart to do it. she knew if she did, it would ruin chaeyoung’s wedding, and in turn, probably ruin their friendship. she didn’t want to lose chaeyoung, but she knew it was bound to happen eventually. she was going to get married, have a family, start a new career and she wouldn’t have time to hang out like jiwon so wished she would have. but she knew that if she didn’t tell her, it was going to eat her alive until she couldn’t stand it anymore. she shook the thought away and carried on with the rest of the rehearsal dinner, pain in her heart and hurt in her eyes. </p><p>about two hours later, once it was time for everyone to leave, soomin and all of his friends and family had left. chaeyoung remained though, and jiwon wasn’t sure why. she looked over at her and could tell that she was trying to find the words to say to her, but they didn’t seem to want to come out. chaeyoung approached jiwon and cleared her throat. <br/>“hey, are you okay? you seemed pretty zoned out earlier and like you weren’t yourself.” jiwon wanted to tell her right there. no one was around, no one would hear it but chaeyoung and she could decide how she felt about it right there, but jiwon froze. she just stared at her best friend and memories came rushing back to her like a freight train, making her tear up and chaeyoung noticed immediately. <br/>“oh my god, ji you’re crying. what’s wrong?” the concern was clear in her voice and all jiwon wanted to do was push her away or have chaeyoung pull her into her arms, but neither one of those would happen. jiwon was frozen and all she could do was stare at chaeyoung, the tears slowly falling. she had to think quick on her feet and she smiled at her best friend. <br/>“I’m just so happy for you.” she tried to say it without her voice breaking, but there was a slight squeak and chaeyoung heard it, but didn’t want to push. <br/>“thank you, ji. I really appreciate you saying that. I am happy to and I am glad you get to experience the happiest day of my life with me.” that broke jiwon’s heart even more. it was ironic, really. tomorrow would be the best day of chaeyoung’s life, but ultimately the worst of hers. </p><p>it was quiet for a moment and chaeyoung just leaned over and hugged jiwon close to her, wrapping her arms around her tightly and holding her there for a while. jiwon was quick to return the gesture, just holding each other tighter and it seemed like for a moment, everything was alright again. for jiwon, it felt like now her best friend understood, but she knew deep down she didn’t, at least not yet. jiwon sighed softly and after a moment, chaeyoung pulled away from her. <br/>“I have to go now, I am going to stay with soomin’s sister for the night. you know it’s bad luck to see your spouse the night before the wedding.” she paused and held jiwon’s cheek for a moment. “You know I love you right? And I’m always going to be here for you?” jiwon felt a spark in her chest like never before, but soon it faded when she realized chaeyoung didn’t mean romantically. again, she forced a smile and nodded. “and I love you, and I’ll always be here. even when you’re married and have a career and some kids.” chaeyoung smiled and nodded. “call me if you need anything. I’ll see you tomorrow?” jiwon nodded and before anything else could be done or said, chaeyoung was gone in the blink of an eye. <br/>her heart felt like it had just fallen completely out of her chest and smashed into a million pieces. that was it. that was her chance to tell her and she lost it. she wanted nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry her eyes out, cry herself to sleep, cry until she couldn’t cry anymore; but nothing came out. she drove herself home to her apartment, walking straight to her bedroom and laying in her bed. she wanted to sleep this away. she wanted to wake up and this all be a nightmare. she wanted to move on with her life after this wedding and not stay caught up on her best friend who is marrying someone else. but she couldn’t see herself doing that. she was too trapped in this game of loving lee chaeyoung and not being able to bring herself to get over her. she was such a huge part of jiwon’s life and she never wanted to lose her. they had so many memories together, so many times that would forever be etched in jiwon’s mind. one of the most memorable was the night of chaeyoung’s twenty first birthday. </p><p>chaeyoung had never really drank before, being too worried that she would become an alcoholic after her first taste due to her family’s history of alcoholism. jiwon told her that it was okay not to drink, and that just because she could and had the opportunity, didn’t mean she had to take it. soomin on the other hand, told her that it would be fine and that she should let loose and have fun. jiwon didn’t agree because she felt like he pressured chaeyoung, but she never said anything about it. well, the night went on and the more hours that passed, the more chaeyoung was drinking. she was shitfaced drunk, slurring her words, stumbling all over the place and soomin was nowhere to be found. some boyfriend, jiwon thought to herself. she walked to chaeyoung, telling her it was time to leave. she put up a fight, saying she wanted to party all night long, but it was already one in the morning and she had to go home before she did something stupid. it took jiwon a while to convince her, but she finally got her and they took a cab back to jiwon’s apartment. she wanted to make sure that she was able to take care of her, plus she didn’t have her keys to get into her own apartment, so jiwon just took her to her’s. she brought her to the bed and laid her down carefully, helping her out of her shoes and deciding to just leave her in her dress. jiwon sighed softly and gave her a bottle of water, which she drank a decent amount of and then, turned her attention up to jiwon. she had this puzzled look on her face and jiwon chuckled softly, looking back at her. </p><p>“what are you looking at?” jiwon asked softly. <br/>“your lips.” chaeyoung replied nonchalantly. jiwon could feel the blood rush to her cheeks, her whole face heating up at those words all of a sudden. she was glad the lights were off and only the light from the window was coming in. <br/>“and why is that?” jiwon asked her softly, wondering what her drunken subconscious would say. <br/>“because they’re beautiful. and I’ve always wanted to kiss them.” she paused for a moment and sat up, so that their faces were within centimeters from one another. jiwon could feel her heart rate quicken and stop all at the same time. she was frozen, she didn’t know what to do. she just stared at chaeyoung with wide eyes, who smirked back at her. <br/>“and I know you want to kiss me too. I know you do. you always have, haven’t you? I know that you’re a lesbian, jiwon. you can’t hide it too well. and I know you want to kiss me. but you haven’t, why is that?” jiwon could feel her heart hitting against her lungs, making it extremely hard to breathe. she couldn’t find the words, she couldn’t even begin a sentence, her mind too quickly running in circles. chaeyoung laughed a bit and shook her head. <br/>“that’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted you to know you don’t hide your feelings very well.” she yawned and leaned in closer to jiwon, leaving a lingering kiss on her cheek before falling into the pillows and going to sleep quickly. jiwon couldn’t believe what she just heard from her best friend. her drunken subconscious came out and said what jiwon would have never expected. she figured chaeyoung would know she was gay at some point. she never dated guys, never showed any interest, and the only relationship she ever had was a secret one in middle school with a girl named seoyeon. she didn’t think chaeyoung knew about it, but she seemed to figure out everything eventually. jiwon covered chaeyoung with the blanket, leaving some aspirin and more water on the bedside table before walking to the kitchen. </p><p>jiwon couldn’t believe what just happened. chaeyoung knew she was gay, called her out about being in love with her, and almost kissed her. their lips were just centimeters away from one another, jiwon could practically feel her lips against chaeyoung’s. she wanted to kiss her so badly. she had never wanted to kiss someone more than she did in that moment, but she respected chaeyoung more than that. she was drunk, and even if her drunken subconscious was truthful, that didn’t mean that chaeyoung wanted to kiss jiwon, so jiwon held herself back. she knew it was the right thing to do, but god did she wish she would have kissed her. that was her chance, her one chance to kiss her best friend, just once, but she couldn’t do it. she was a better person than that and she respected her best friend. her mind was racing, and she wasn’t sure if chaeyoung would remember it or not when she woke up in the morning. part of jiwon wanted her to remember, but the other part simply wanted her to forget so things wouldn’t get awkward. and it seemed that it was the latter. chaeyoung had no idea what happened that night and didn’t remember a thing. jiwon knew that was probably for the best and she let it go. </p><p>jiwon laid awake for what felt like half the night, her mind racing with so many memories and how heartbroken she was that chaeyoung wasn’t ever going to love jiwon the way that she loved her. jiwon was in love with her, and she knew it from the start, but she never could figure out how to say it, when to say it, and when she finally got the nerve, it was too late. she knew that she had missed her opportunity and as much as it hurt her, she had to move on with it. she tried to shake the thoughts away, wiping the couple tears that had spilled from her eyes from her cheeks, and she laid her head down on the bed. she fell asleep shortly after, only to be woken up by her alarm blaring at eight in the morning. she felt her stomach drop. today was the day. she wanted to stay in bed, to not go and let chaeyoung move on without her, but what kind of best friend would that be? she shook her head, showered, and made her way to chaeyoung’s apartment. </p><p>by the time she got there, everyone was already there. there were all the bridesmaids, soomin’s mother, jiwon’s mother, and a couple other people to help chaeyoung get ready for her wedding day. jiwon saw her and her heart never felt so heavy, but she couldn’t let it out now. she put on a smile, a happy face, a ruse to show that she was happy. she didn’t want to ruin chaeyoung’s day, so she made sure to look as happy as possible. hours went by and everyone was ready, even chaeyoung. jiwon stared at her best friend in awe, wonder, amazement, and simply put, love. she looked more beautiful than jiwon had probably ever seen her. she was absolutely stunning and jiwon couldn’t help but to get a little emotional, as did the few other women. it was almost time for them to start walking, everything set in place. chaeyoung looked at jiwon and she felt like she needed to talk to her alone for a moment, so everyone left and it was just the two of them. <br/>“jiwon, first of all, thank you. thank you for helping me with all of this. thank you for helping plan, and thank you for being my best friend. thank you for always keeping me stable when I didn’t even feel like standing. thank you for always being by my side. I could never thank you enough for everything and I just want you to know that… although things are going to change once I am married, I won’t love you any less and you will always be my best friend.” jiwon smiled as chaeyoung grabbed her hands, holding them gently as she always did. chaeyoung was such a gentle spirit, such an angel, and jiwon couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. <br/>“of course chae, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world and I couldn’t have been happier with helping you. I love that you’re so happy with Soomin and I love that you both are in love. it makes me so happy to know that you’re going to live your life with someone you love and that I was along for the ride. and you’ll always be my one true friend, my one true happiness. And I hope that you remember that.” jiwon was in tears, her words hurting her more than chaeyoung would ever know. chaeyoung just smiled and kissed her cheek before the two of them walked to their positions. </p><p>the ceremony was slow, but it was beautiful. there were flowers everywhere, pink accentuating everything, the scenery of the nature around them; it was gorgeous. soomin and chaeyoung both looked incredible, and they looked incredibly happy. both of them cried when they saw one another, and their vows were beautiful. jiwon was glad chaeyoung had this, but her heart still was singed with pain with each word that was said. and when they said I do, jiwon thought her heart was going to fall right out of her chest. but she held it together. they kissed and then the reception began. everyone was so happy, and the reception was just as beautiful. it was time for their speeches, and jiwon didn’t even want to give hers. but she knew if she didn’t, it would be suspicious, and it would upset chaeyoung. so she pulled herself together when it was her turn, cleared her throat, and she began slowly. </p><p>“hi everyone. my name is jiwon, and as most of you know, I am chaeyoung’s best friend.” she smiled back at her friend before sighing softly to herself. “chae and I have been through so many things together that I couldn’t even begin to tell you. we have been friends for over ten years of our life. we met in freshman year of high school, and I just knew then that she and I were going to be the best of friends. and I was right. we spent everyday together. she was always at my house, we always were hanging out, and she never wanted to leave my side. when my parents and I found out why, it was heartbreaking. but we opened our home to her, and she became part of her family, my parents treated her as their own and she accepted them as her parents. having chaeyoung in my life was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. she has always been there for me, she has always had my back, and always made me feel worth something, and reminded me that someone was in my corner and loved me. I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her, but I was so lucky to have her. of course, I knew she wouldn’t be mine forever. when we moved off to college, she began to date soomin. I saw her light up like the sky on the fourth of july when she met him. I had never seen someone so happy in someone else’s presence before. she always would go on about how much she liked him and how she was going to marry him. I thought she was being crazy, but I guess I was the one who just didn’t believe her. but here they are, married now and getting to spend the rest of their lives together. i’ve gotta say, I’m quite jealous of you, soomin. you get to spend the rest of your life with the person I love the most in this world. you get to spend your life with someone who means more to me than I could ever explain. you get to love her the way I’ve always wished to love her, to take care of her the way I’ve always wanted to take care of her, to hold her the way I wanted to hold her, to have her the way I’ve always wanted to have her. as much as I am in love with you, lee chaeyoung, I know that you love soomin. he is your one and only and I respect that. I know the two of you are going to live a happy life together and I do hope you can forgive me and understand that my feelings for you were too deep for me to tell you before, but here I am, telling you on your wedding day. I’m sorry for doing this now, but I had to get it out there and get it off my chest. I love you as a best friend, and much more, chaeyoung. And I hope nothing but happiness for you. I’ll never forget may fourteenth, two thousand and eighteen.” </p><p>and that was all she said. she could see everyone’s faces and everyone was surprised, but chaeyoung didn’t look phased by it at all. she didn’t have a specific emotion on her face. she didn’t look happy, mad, upset, angry, disappointed, disgusted, anything. she just looked blankly at jiwon before jiwon turned away and walked out of the building of the reception. she knew that was the worst possible thing she could have done. she knew that she shouldn’t have done that, because now she probably lost her best friend. the chances of chaeyoung ever talking to her again were slim to none now, and soomin and his family probably hated her now. she let her tears just flow from her face, the makeup running down her cheeks as she got in her car. she drove from the scene completely heartbroken, devastated, and disappointed, but she knew that she had to get it off her chest. she knew her unspoken love song would tear her apart, so she sang it to chaeyoung, who she loved the most, but at the wrong time.</p>
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